Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
