you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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