New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
