She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
