two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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