The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
