I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
