I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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