yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize