I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
