Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
