This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
