she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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