Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
