pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and she was petting her beer can
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
