Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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