bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
