Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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