someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
