her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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