Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
