Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize