i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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