big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Damn victory sex feels great
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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