I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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