I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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