...so i touched it.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
