So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
