Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
