That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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