Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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