She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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