Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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