sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
