fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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