that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
