so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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