i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
