I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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