i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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