i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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