He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
