he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
