He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
