You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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