I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
