Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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