This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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