I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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