I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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