Do you still have your period?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
