Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
