you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
