Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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