I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
