sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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