She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
