do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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