wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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