Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
