I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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