To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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